


Regrets

by 1nceGivenUp_NeverRegained



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M, Fem!Marco, Sasha is an awesome friend, known as Marcie, she's dead, so is Christa, so she doesn't actually show up in this fic physically, this was inspired by When I was your Man by Bruno Mars
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-25
Updated: 2014-02-25
Packaged: 2018-01-13 19:00:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1237486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1nceGivenUp_NeverRegained/pseuds/1nceGivenUp_NeverRegained
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She's gone, and he forgot to tell her, now he will never be able too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Regrets

**Author's Note:**

> So, this was beta'd by my friend, and she's awesome. little bit of background, Jean is at the fires that burned the bodies o the people who died in Trost, that wasn't clear to her, so I thought I'd clear it up now. Hope you like this, it was inspired by When I Was Your Man by Bruno Mars, a song which I hate, but came on in gym class and I had an idea. Also, I wrote this on my tablet, so please excuse any left over spelling errors or weird spacing. Enjoy!

He was the last there, everyone else had given up and gone to their bunks, hoping to sleep without dreams, too tired physically and emotionally to do anything else.

So he was left alone in the strong, flickering light of the fires, surrounded by the stench of burning flesh. Tears he had held back finally burst forth and formed streaks in the grime on his face. It was just now hitting him that Marcie was gone, burning to ashes in front of him.

She's gone, and I was stupid. Never told her the truth. Now I'll never do it. Tears stained the ground as he fell to his knees, covering his face with his hands, trying to remember the face of the girl he fell in love with, but all he could see was her body, or what was left.

You're stupid, stupid, stupid. Friggin coward, look where it got you. He scolded himself, curling tighter in on himself, not caring about the ashes and dirt staining his uniform, Why white? Why not black? Some sane part of the back of his mind questioned,  quickly forgotten as the rest of his mind grieved and cried.

He hardly noticed the fires dying down, only embers and bones now. He would have remained there forever had Sasha not come to tell him he had to sleep. Looking up, he slowly stood, only to wrap his arms around her and cry. She and Connie had become good friends of his, and were now some of his only friends.

She ran one hand through his hair, shaking loose some dirt, arms encircling him tightly, as if she could protect him from the world. He didn't move, trying to keep his shoulders from shaking before giving up, knowing it was pointless.

Finally,  Sasha persuaded him to go sleep, threatening to go get Connie to watch him if he didn't. Numbly, he walked to his bunk and fell onto it face first, out of tears to shed. I miss you, I miss you, I miss you. He thought over and over, remembering how Marcie would sneak into the boys' dorm when she had a nightmare, curling up in his arms and smiling in her sleep.

The rest of the trainees hadn't ever questioned the pair's tendency to seek each other out in the middle of the night for comfort from nightmares. Each dorm had one person who woke up really early, and it would be their job to get the stray trainee out of the wrong dorm and into their own. This was a normal pattern, but not anymore, not now that Marcie was gone.

However, the girls weren't surprised when they found Jean in Marcie's bed the next morning, clutching her pillow like a life raft. Christa, that morning's early riser shook the boy, waking him up. Wordlessly, he got up to leave, glad that she ignored the tear stains. She grabbed the pillow off the bed and held it out to him.

He looked at her in surprise before gratefully taking the pillow from her, smiling gently for the first time since Bertholt had helped him back behind the wall. Christa smiled back and raised herself on her toes with a steadying hand on his shoulder to press a quick kiss to his cheek and to whisper something into his ear before pushing him out the door and back to his dorm.

Upon return, he put the pillow on his bed and breathed in the wonderful smell of the girl he loved, remembering Christa's words,

"She wanted me to tell you, should she die, that she loves you, Jean Kirstein, she loved you with all of her heart." He smiled and whispered,

"I love you too, Marcie Bodt, and I will fight for you forever, and I'll see you in the stars."

 


End file.
